Issue: September 2023
2023 Black Business Month Expo
Mother Hen would like to thank IMPACT Church for the opportunity to join their annual Black Business Expo. Seventy-five (75) black-owned businesses were in attendance this year and we are so grateful that we were one of them.
We would like to thank everyone who came out to support Mother Hen and especially all those who signed up to receive our newsletter. We are excited for you to get to know Mother Hen better.
Donations
Mother Hen is passionately committed to lending a helping hand to the underserved within the communities we serve. We are appreciative of any and all donations provided here. These donations will be used in entirety to provide services for underserved families as well as fulfill other specific outreach needs.
Outreach Initiatives:
- Community If your business would like to become a corporate sponsor and join us in supporting the community, please contact us directly.
- Family ServicesYour family service donation will directly help a family receive professional parental coaching sessions or services in navigating the school system to get the proper accommodations for their child to succeed academically.
- Corporate SponsorIf your business would like to become a corporate sponsor and join us in supporting the community, please contact us directly.
Balance
Being a parent is hard work. We know that balancing everything life has to offer can be a challenge. As such we decided to do a series on Balance. Here you will be able to find tips to help you balance life a little better. We would love to hear how these tools and tips are working for you once you have implemented them (info@2motherhens.com).
Steps to Help You Find Balance
1. Having balance in one’s life is extremely hard to do. How do we focus on work, kids, spouses, family, friends, and just life’s everyday tasks? We strive to give everything we do 100% of our time and effort. However, we realize very quickly it’s just plain impossible. Balance is where we are doing a juggling act by keeping many balls in the air at once. Don’t tackle it with a perfectionist and rigid mentality because you will be setting yourself up for failure and a whole lot of stress. Accepting the realization that “good enough” is sometimes good enough. You may feel off balance from time to time and that is expected. Balance is a mindset, not a destination. As you go through the journey sometimes you will get lost, make a wrong turn, go down open roads and have to recalibrate. Show yourself some grace on the way as you learn and, importantly, enjoy the ride.
2. Figuring out what is important to you is key. What are your basic goals in life? Getting the promotion? Spending quality time with your kiddos? This will help you figure out what is worth your time and what isn’t. In order to figure out which balls are most important to keep up in the air, identifying your key goals is paramount. Make a list of your goals from greatest to least. There can be different lists, e.g., ‘career goals, household goals, family goals, etc.
3. Once you figure out your key goals (things of most importance), you can figure out what to prioritize versus what not to prioritize….or even do. This will help you figure out where and what you should spend your time and effort on.
4. When setting up goals—set up both long-term and short-term goals. Short-term goals are doable steps that help you attain your long-term goals. “In order for me to attain this goal, I need to break down the different portions of that.” Specificity is key. It is more helpful to identify specific goals or tasks to be accomplished than vague ones. Being proactive and planning ahead can circumvent many potential issues. For example, if it is January, and I would like to go on a Christmas holiday with my family, therefore:
a. Long-term goal: I want to go on a vacation with my family in the
next 11 months.
b. Short Term goals:
i. Monetary Savings: Make a budget of how much needs to be
saved each week or month in order to pay for the vacation.
ii. Travel dates/Travel: Airfare/Driving. You can factor this into
your overall budget.
iii. Location: You have time to pick a place that is reasonable
for your budget. What does the location offer for children?
iv. Accommodation: The earlier the booking, the better, and it
allows you to solidify plans before prices become more
expensive or places become unavailable.
v. Food: Budget how much money you’ll spend on food.
Setting goals allows you to be more prepared and settled and also allows you to readjust as needed if something goes awry.
5. Prioritizing one task over another requires you to make a choice and dare I say, using the word “no.” Learning to say no is not a one-time thing but something you will continuously have to do. Turning down an opportunity or request from others can stir up many negative feelings of discomfort. However, you can’t do everything. Choosing what you need is not always selfish or wrong. If an emergency comes up on a plane ride, they instruct you to attend to yourself first. You need to choose to put yourself first before helping anyone else. This does not mean that the people in your life don’t matter. However, how can you be of service to anyone else if you’re incapacitated?
a. Piggybacking off step number 4 above. If a friend would like you to go to a fancy dinner with her but you know you have a goal in place for saving a certain amount each month in order for you to really enjoy your family’s Christmas holiday, you may have to turn that friend down or opt for less expensive dinner plans.
6. Setting a specific time and place to do what is important to you to attain goals is great. However, what you do during that time is more important. We all have 1,001 things to do and sometimes it feels like we have to do multiple things at once. We can think that getting certain tasks done is the priority. However, what makes us efficient is being mindful and focusing on our tasks. When you avoid other distractions while doing other tasks, it allows you to place all your energy, time, and attention on completing the task or taking in important memories. Therefore, it allows you to learn more, finish more quickly, and do it adequately. Is it really family time if you’re answering emails the whole time you’re playing board games with your kids? Being mindful and present in what we choose to do is important to us and to others.
7. Plan ahead but be flexible. There will always be unexpected events that will pop up. A kid will shove a Lego up their nose or your boss will schedule an additional meeting for you to attend. Learn to adapt in the moment rather than being rigid. E.g., The family vacation is booked, and everyone is ready to fly across the country. However, there is a huge storm and all flights are canceled for the next 2 days – it’s so disappointing! You can abbreviate your trip and reschedule for two days later or you can decide to take a road trip with the family instead. Being flexible does not mean that the decision will always be easy but the family vacation was for you to spend time with your family exploring a new place. That can still happen even if it isn’t how you originally envisioned it.
8. Use but do not abuse your village. Hey! We know it takes a village to raise kids so utilize your community, family, and overall support network when you’re in a particularly tough spot. You’re not in this alone. Being vulnerable and honest can sometimes get you the wiggle room you need to recalibrate. Also, say thank you. Your village loves your children, but it isn’t their responsibility to ultimately take care of them. A little gratitude can go a long way.